Hope Podcast: Featuring Lexi Potter, MDiv Candidate

LEXI POTTER: Hi, Hiatt. It's good to hang out with you. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: It's good to be here. So we just want to start today with a little bit of an introduction. Can you just tell us where is home for you? And give us a brief spiritual autobiography. 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah. So currently home is here in Somerville. Two of my best friends and I just started like a little mini co-op, which is very beautiful and rewarding. So that's home right now. I'm originally from Frankenmuth, Michigan. This little German town. The world's biggest Christmas store, fun fact. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Whoa. 

LEXI POTTER: And then for a lot of the rest of my life, I lived in Central Florida. And then I did a year for my Fulbright out in Athens, Greece. So all of those feel like home in different ways. I guess the most consistently is my cat, Salem. She's very home to me, wherever we are. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah, that's pretty beautiful. That home isn't so much of a place as it is, just the people you're with. Whether that be your best friends in Somerville-- 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: --or your cat, Salem. 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah, absolutely. Now I have them all together.

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah, that's perfect. 

LEXI POTTER: It is pretty perfect. And then, as for a brief spiritual autobiography, I'll do my best to keep it brief. Honestly, it's difficult for me to explain. Because I think I've always struggled with religion and spirituality. And although I think as a child, I was very whimsical and believed in a lot of different things. 

But I think my only exposure to a standard organized religion was through my grandmother on my mom's side, who was in a very stern non-denominational Christian church. And so I saw that as a domineering force whenever it was around me. 

So I think for many years, that was my only real connection to religion. And then coincidentally, later on, I ended up joining a Christian youth group when I was in 7 grade. Because we moved around several times, and my parents knew I was a bit lonely when we moved. 

So our neighbor, this elderly woman, Martha, was like you should have Lexi go to this youth group at my church. And my parents made me go. And so I went dressed nice. And I thought it was going to be some Bible study stuff. 

And it ended up being just a space where they do team building exercises and fun games and stuff. And then they occasionally do volunteer work. So I ended up sticking with it from seventh grade on till until I graduated high school, which is surprising considering where I am at now-- 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: --my feelings on religion. But I still think that entire time I wasn't really connected to the faith of the church. It was mostly about having the friends, and I liked doing the volunteer work. So I don't consider that my tradition either, but it's the one I have the most experience with as of right now and I think where I've been since then. 

I've been a lot more confused in figuring out what my relationship with spirituality is. So I'm more in the lack of category. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Right. 

LEXI POTTER: And so the reason I'm here at HDS is partially to figure some of that out. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. That's great. I know people might have the assumption when they're considering HDS, or even just thinking about it, that everyone here has very set beliefs or set pathways and set traditions. But it's the case for you. And is this the case for myself. It's not always that clean-cut. Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: Exactly. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: And it sounds to me like your understanding of your air quotes, "tradition" is more community and friendship-based than it is any church-- as in an institution. 

LEXI POTTER: Absolutely. The more and more I reflect, that just comes up for me every time is that it's more about the relationships I have with certain friends and found family type stuff and all that. That seems to be where I find the most sense of Divinity that I can in my life. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. Well, you did gesture to it. My next question. What brought you to HDS? 

LEXI POTTER: Well, speaking of that, my best friend, Karina Robinson, who I know is also a dear friend of yours. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yes, indeed. 

LEXI POTTER: Brought me here, basically. So we were friends back in undergrad and became friends in the summer of 2020. Because we're in this reading group at the time. And I was coming back from my other master's program in Greece. I was a little bit lost on what to do next. 

And Karina has known that I have a lot of angst and struggle about religion. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: And she was just finishing her last year here at HDS. She was an MT, student. And she was like, hey, Lexi, I think you would really like it here at HDS. I think you should consider applying here. And I was like, you're crazy. Why would I ever go to Divinity School. That doesn't make any sense. 

And I only more recently realized is that what she was really saying at the time, she wasn't saying it directly. But she was saying, Lexi, I noticed you're really struggling with this topic. I think this would be a place for you to think about that and work through that. 

But I think she did it in a much more subtle way to be like, Lexi, I think you'd like it here. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: So then I visited her and I sat in on a class with her. And I went to an event here, and she was look through the course catalog. And I was like, OK, I'm starting to see what you mean. I think there are some things I really enjoy here. 

I like being in a class where people are critical about the scripture that they're discussing. And I like that this is a place that's like-- people are talking about LGBTQ rights. That was the event I went to. And I'm a huge James Baldwin fan, and I saw that they had a class on James Baldwin 

HIATT O'CONNOR: The book of Baldwin. 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah. Yeah. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: Which I hope to take next year. So I was like, all right, I'm going to apply. And it was the only thing I applied to at the time. So I guess if I hadn't gotten in here, I'd have to figure something else out. But luckily, it worked out. Or as a lot of people here would say, well you were meant to be here then. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. Well, it certainly seems like it, doesn't it? 

LEXI POTTER: It seems like it. So yeah, I would say really, I wouldn't have known or even thought to ever put myself in a place like this if it hadn't been for Karina suggesting so. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Another instance of the quote-unquote, "tradition of friendship." 

LEXI POTTER: Exactly. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Getting you to where you need to be. 

LEXI POTTER: Exactly. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah. The more that I think about it and figure out what practices work for me, the more friendship just is really like at the forefront of all of it. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. Well, you're doing a great job of gesturing me into my own questions. The next one being, are there any insights or regular practices that you have day-to-day that help support you or help give you hope that you might share with our listeners? 

LEXI POTTER: Yeah. I mean, I think one of the things that I've been working on here in my second year at HDS is figuring out what that is. So one thing that's really special for us in our little mini co-op now at home is crafting. So I would consider us doing designated craft time together as a bit of a spiritual practice. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: I'd say also, obviously doing things out in nature with friends, going to our dear Walden Pond. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: I really like doing tarot with my friends. And it's funny. Because recently, I was doing a week where I was like, OK, I'm going to test out different things to see what resonates for me. Because I still struggle with the question of what God means to me, or how I believe or what I believe or if I believe. 

And I did a tarot spread that Karina had actually sent to me, that in the first card was, basically, God, introduce yourself. And the card that came out was the three of cups, which is the one about camaraderie and friendship. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Wow! 

LEXI POTTER: So I think that's a practice that's been meaningful for me as I figure out how to reflect on these things. And I think the card was right. That in my life, at least, the camaraderie and shared purposes has been a big deal to me. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. And it sounds like the broader practice of just being with friends and creating community, but all the little small ones within it simultaneously continue this communal and friendship-based. I keep saying it, air quotes, "around tradition" that you've had, but also challenge it in a way, or ask you to develop on it more, or just keep pursuing it. 

Because you have these questions of who or what God is and what your relationship to that concept or that reality is, or if you even have one. So that broad and abstract question, which can be oppressively large-- 

LEXI POTTER: Absolutely. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: --is suddenly made more tangible to the hands just by being with your friends. You don't even have to talk about it with your friends. But just by being with your friends. 

LEXI POTTER: It does help that I get to talk about it with them, since one of the others is also at HDS. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: But, yeah, I think I have a lot of moments-- even if I spend some time apart from friends and then we rejoin, there's something about the moments-- only I can feel and I can't fully articulate yet. That is getting to exactly what you were just gesturing to. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah, thank you. So you mentioned earlier how you came to HDS with some discomfort around faith and belief. Can you just tell me a little bit more about that? How's that going now that you're in your second year? 

LEXI POTTER: I think I'm still very much in the thick of it to give a little bit more background, I guess, on the spiritual autobiography stuff. I spent all those years in that youth group until I graduated high school. 

But then when I got to college, I think that's when a lot of the discomfort started hitting me more as I reflected on certain things that didn't sit right with me and the youth group and some of the leadership at times. 

And I think I had a moment in college where someone had said, oh, it's my duty as a Christian to save you-- something about that just set me off-- 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: --in college. And I was watching a lot of the Christian nationalism around the country grow, in my first year of undergrad. So I was just in a really angsty spot about religion before I met Karina, as I mentioned. 

And I think now, it seems like it's going well, and I'm on the right path. Because I mean, you mentioned at the beginning that I'm in my second year of the MDiv, which is still just funny to hear out loud now. Because at the end of last year, I made the switch to MDiv. 

I came in as an MTS, and I think my switch to MDiv is part of the reason I came here. And I didn't know that coming in. Because I had no idea what an MDiv was. But I think back to all those years, what I was getting out of it was community. And I really liked doing the volunteer work. 

And the MDiv gives me the room to do work out in the real world with people. It does-- not only theory, but practice as well. And really well as a program. So I think that is something that's been giving-- if this is the Hope Podcast-- giving me a lot of hope. 

Because I'm really excited to start my field ed next month, where I'll be working with high schoolers on racial reconciliation and healing. And one of the reasons I switched to MDiv was because my advisor had mentioned the concept of movement chaplaincy, which I'd never heard about before. 

But I told her I wanted to take a class on community organizing, and that's when she explained what movement chaplaincy was to me. And so now I want to focus a lot of my MDiv research on what that means, and what that could look like. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: And who out there is doing movement chaplaincy, but doesn't even call it that. So I think that's been giving me a lot of comfort and hope in my studies and the community here. And I think that all is helping me work through the discomfort that I came here, hoping to work through. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: Because even though I still have a lot of questions, I'm just here in the thick of it, hanging out with all my friends who are talking about their relationship with their tradition. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: So that's been really beautiful in my time here, so far. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: You're working it out by working it out. 

[CHUCKLES] 

[INTERPOSING VOICES] 

I could say. 

LEXI POTTER: Literally, I just came to face it head on, baptism by fire or whatever they call it. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yes. 

[LAUGHING] 

And you mentioned that you were doing movement chaplaincy for your field at in racial reconciliation, where specifically are you doing it? What's the organization called? 

LEXI POTTER: It's called, literally, The Racial Reconciliation & Healing Project out in Jamaica Plain. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: [INAUDIBLE] 

LEXI POTTER: And it was one that my advisor recommended to me. Because when she was in her MDiv here, she did field education there. And I'd been asking her, looking for something in the realm of movement chaplaincy. And so when I interviewed with them, actually, I told them that she had told me about movement chaplaincy. And they were like, oh, I didn't even about that. But that's totally what we do here. So in their own way. So yeah, I'm really excited about that. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: That's great. And you mentioned your advisor. Who is that? 

LEXI POTTER: That is Dean Bartholomew. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: The beloved Dean Martha. 

LEXI POTTER: Yes, she is wonderful. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Well, before you go, can you just share maybe a book or books or movies or poems or any other things that you would recommend to our listeners who might want a little bit of hope or something that makes them feel a little bit more hopeful? It can even be practices, media. Anything you'd like. 

LEXI POTTER: I was going to mention my favorite quote by James Baldwin, who's my favorite author. And I used it in my application essay for here, actually, to explain part of my purpose for coming here. It's the quote where he's like, "Not everything that is face can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced." 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: And that's basically what I was getting at, I'm pretty disgruntled with the connections between religion and politics. How can I really do anything about that, if I'm not getting myself more religiously literate and comfortable with being in community with people of various religions? 

Even the one that I grew up with, that I have tensions with-- Christianity. So that quote-- and anything by James Baldwin, really. The first book I ever read by him was The Fire Next Time. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. A classic. 

LEXI POTTER: And that one is-- even though it's about some harrowing realities we deal with, it gives me hope. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. 

LEXI POTTER: Other than anything by James Baldwin, something that I watched-- and this might be a sillier suggestion. In the past year-- 

HIATT O'CONNOR: We could use some silly. It's some serious times we're living in. 

LEXI POTTER: Very true. Honestly, beautiful media that reflects on history, politics, and religion motivates me and motivates hope in me. And the movie Sinners when it came out, I was like, this is an incredible work of art that gets people discussing history of colonialism, what that means for different racial and ethnic groups. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah, absolutely. 

LEXI POTTER: And through the medium that it was done and the dance sequence that's in the middle of the movie is like, you can only really experience it like the first time you experienced it that one time. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: I know What you're talking about. 

LEXI POTTER: And I think that gave me a lot of hope in the moment. Because I was like, this beautiful media. I saw all the things people were saying about it, and how it pushed them like to question things for themselves or question the history of colonialism in different ways. 

I don't know, I love Sinners, so that would be my-- 

HIATT O'CONNOR: And also appreciate just an aspect of American culture that even though it's so filled with horror. And in the case of Sinners, the genre of horror. 

LEXI POTTER: Exactly. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: But so much beauty and resilience, as well. 

LEXI POTTER: Exactly, exactly. And just the beauty of the culture that captain created and made iterations of for themselves, with the way that the music flowed. So, yeah. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. And I would not say that's a silly suggestion. 

LEXI POTTER: It's not. But I don't. It is also a vampire movie, so-- [CHUCKLES] 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Well, spoilers if you haven't seen Sinners, everybody. 

LEXI POTTER: If they don't know at this point. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Yeah. That's fair. 

LEXI POTTER: Fair enough. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Well, Lexi, thank you for coming on. I appreciate having you. 

LEXI POTTER: Thank you for having me, Hiatt. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: Of course. 

LEXI POTTER: I appreciate it. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: And everyone who's listening, please look out for our next episodes in the coming weeks. And feel free to listen to the catalog that precedes this. All right, that's it. 

LEXI POTTER: Toddles. 

HIATT O'CONNOR: We're all settled. Toddles. 

[SIDE CONVERSATION]