Video: What Does It Mean to Awaken Our Dignity?

On March 20, 2023, Phakchok Rinpoche asked, What does it mean to awaken our dignity? Is it something conferred upon us externally by others, or an inner quality that we all possess? Drawing from the Tibetan Buddhist tradition, Rinpoche provided a fresh understanding of dignity as the power that arises when we know decisively that our nature is inherently pure. With dignity, we know that we are fundamentally whole and complete. We gain an unshakeable confidence in who we are that enables us to meet the challenges of today’s world with greater compassion and wisdom. But many of us have lost contact with dignity. In this talk, Rinpoche offered practical and poignant advice for awakening and cultivating our own inherent dignity through contemplative exercises he calls “dignity training.”

Full transcript: 

SPEAKER 1: Harvard Divinity School.

SPEAKER 2: What does it mean to awaken our dignity? March 20, 2023.

ELON GOLDSTEIN: Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Harvard Divinity School. Good to have you here for the special event with Phakchok Rinpoche-- What does it mean to awaken our dignity?

So I'm aware that in addition to having guests from all over the larger community, the greater Boston area, and besides having people from various schools and parts of Harvard, there are a number of people here from Brandeis, people who came from Brown, and elsewhere. So good to have you all and gather together. Welcome.

I want to make a special thanks in terms of making this event possible to Jonathan Makransky, who's the Multireligious Ministry Initiatives Coordinator at Harvard Divinity School, and Dr. Monica Sanford who's here, who's the Assistant Dean for Multireligious Ministry.

To all of the faculty and staff connected with the Buddhist Ministry Initiative at Harvard Divinity School, our stalwart audiovisual team, and all of the people in facilities that work on these rooms, set them up, make it possible for us to have these events, thank you.

So about Phakchok Rinpoche, there is so much to say. And I will just touch on a couple of the basics, but since you're at this event, you have his name. And later, if you simply put his name into a search engine, you'll immediately find his website. And you can learn more details about the wide range of activities that he is initiated and that he is involved in.

So Phakchok Rinpoche, within the Nyingma tradition of Tibetan Buddhism, is a lineage holder of the Profound Treasures of Chokgyur Lingpa, and he is one of the throne holders of the Riwoche Taklung Kagyu lineage, which has its seat at Riwoche in Kham in a region of Eastern Tibet. Rinpoche was trained by his grandfather, Tulku Urgyen Rinpoche, his father, Tsikey Chokling Rinpoche, and the Dzogchen master, Nyoshul Khenpo Rinpoche.

So for some of us, these are Tibetan names, but some of you have some sense of who these people are, and that is really something in terms of how to be brought up within Buddhism. So we're very privileged to have Phakchok Rinpoche with us. He's a lay bodhisattva with a family, with children, and he oversees many projects and many responsibilities. So he's someone that can speak to our daily lives and our concerns.

Through his non-profit foundation, he has initiated both secular educational projects and religious educational projects. He has started a health care clinic there in Nepal, where he resides as his home base when he's not traveling and teaching through the world. He has created medical and dental camps for communities that are outside of large cities. So they can have access to that kind of health care.

He spearheads a translation and publication project that is creating the ongoing translation of important Tibetan Buddhist texts into English. And through his Samye Institute, he has set up entire programs for Dharma teaching for different types of students, so they have a step by step way to try to pursue paths that would be relevant to their everyday life.

In his own life, Phakchok Rinpoche exemplifies a balance among three areas-- study and contemplation on the one hand. When he was younger, did traditional study at Dzongsar Shedra in India-- traditional type of Buddhist study. But having spent a few minutes with him this afternoon, it's really evident how much he likes learning and continues to learn about anything that he can. So ongoing study.

One of those branches practice a second branch and altruistic activity for the benefit of society widely and for religious kinds of purposes. So those three areas-- relevant to all of us. We're really happy to have Phakchok Rinpoche. Please join me in welcoming him to Harvard Divinity School.

[APPLAUSE]

He'll give a talk, and then we'll have some questions and answers. Thank you.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: Thank you very much.

Thank you very much for the opportunity too. I'd like to share some of my thoughts and my experiences, and I hope you can take something that can useful for your life and your journey.

Basically, today, my topic is about dignity. And that word is, I'm pretty sure, we heard quite a bit in different time in society. But what I really mentioning, what I'm really trying to say, dignity is a nature and essence of our body, essence of our speech, what we breathe in, and actually, essence of our mind, the emotions.

So what is beyond our mind? The essence, nature, our core nature is actually completely untouched by our negativity, action, experiences in life. We never corrupted our essence. So the essence with which that is not corrupted cannot be corrupted. That is actually called a dignity. It's completely pure.

Now, when I say this, what you need to understand is don't look at me and my word only. The best way to learn dignity is you listen, then you right away turn your mind inwardly towards yourself. And what I am referring, you try to direct your understanding towards you, in towards your mind. It's going to be much easier.

So in the beginning level, we are kind of finding little bit more difficult to grasp the idea of, our nature is pure, our nature is perfect, because we are so much habitual tendency. Habit. That some-- we are driven on our plans and sometimes, our projects, and our future to do. And sometimes, we lost what to do. We're not sure. So we are confused on that. So we are very much lost into our daily action and life and planning. So we forgot about what is our nature is.

So you can see a lot of time nowadays, mindfulness, meditation, stress-reducing methods. And now you start hearing a lot of compassion to contemplations, and this kind of things. In daily life in your self, sometimes you want to do something good, but then you meet difficult people. You don't what kind of action you should do sometime. You feel like your compassionate action. You are kind person, but you feel like somebody's cheating you, cheated you, or hurt you.

Feelings. Sometimes, you feel like you're not good enough for yourself and others. Sometimes, you feel like you're not good person. You judge yourself. So you can see a lot of this internally and externally. We challenge quite a bit. So the challenge comes because that you completely ignored and forget and forgot the idea of our nature of our mind, nature of our breath, nature of our physical body. Nature essence is actually completely pure, uncorrupted.

So now, the picture, the example that I like to give is a mirror. You know mirror? Completely quite expensive mirror. Hundred dollars mirror. Very clean mirror, right? So you keep it the mirror for 10 years, untouched really. Just imagine. 10 years don't touch. The mirror would be really dusty, and you can't see your face clearly.

But when you put $5 worth of cleaner and you put 5 minutes of cleaning, the mirror could go back exactly the same 10 years back-- the how clean and pure and can you see yourself, your own face. It's going to exactly like that mirror. So the mirror is actually our nature. And 10 years not doing the dust is we forgot about our nature, forgot about meditation, looking inwardly, all that method. We forgot. That's why it become dusty.

And how much you actually corrupted but the mirror never become corruption. You can actually put effort in the cleanup. So that is the example of our nature is actually pure. So when you start thinking our nature is pure, then they have all the conditions and methods. We can learn to actually improve ourselves. What to improve? The first thing we need to improve is learn to notice, but reduce judgment.

In our life, you know, why is so important dignity? Why is so important practice of understanding dignity? Because dignity is like a force. It's like a base and force of decisiveness. You want to take decision. Decisiveness actually comes from your dignity. Compassion that you want to act correctly is actually comes from dignity.

Your mind starts judging towards yourself and other, but not hurt much is actually comes from your dignity. Because we don't have no dignity means we think our nature is not good. So when you start judging yourself by your action or somebody's opinion-- these days, we have Instagram and Facebooks. People say things about you, and you feel hurt.

One day, I had received an email. Not me but my organization. They say negative towards me and also some of my students. Say, oh, Rinpoche. I see. I see. They can let them say. What is wrong with that? You don't need to read what they say. Just read a few lines they're saying negative, and don't read the whole thing. Just sweep, and who is saying good one? Just read that one.

[LAUGHTER]

You know, and I realized that these days everybody talks so important. Take so important what people say because they start judging other people's voice, other people's expression, other people's opinion. You use like that is a measurement of how you are because we don't know how I am. We judge ourselves by other people's opinion, other people's reaction, other people think.

That's how we says, people robbed, steal my dignity. And I say, it's strange expression. Now, I want to tell you why. First, you're going to have big question. OK, Rinpoche, now you said nature is pure. All right. OK.

Now, the question comes up, who made that nature? It's perfect. It should be somebody who made right. Right? The real answer is no one created that nature of mine, nature of yours, nature of phenomena. It's pure perfection. Nobody made it. Why? That's why you call nature, right? When is created, how it can be nature? You understand?

So our innate nature is uncreated, completely perfect, all right? That's why when you do something negative, sometimes, you have feeling that, oh, I think is not right. That how you said? It's a moral compass.

Where the morals compass comes from? Where the deep feeling come from if something's wrong? Where? Because your nature is perfect. That's why some crack of your habit, bad habit, is crack, and there's some light shine through saying, that is bad, then it goes back. And you don't know how to catch that. You don't know how to express. That's number 1.

Number 2. The issue that I face is this. We judge a lot. Comparison. Comparing and judging. Always. What I see is correct. What you see is not correct. My one is the only good way. The judgment is like that. So judgment produce emotions. And noticing does not increase your emotions-- negative emotions. I give you an example.

You wake up in the morning. You wash your face or sometimes, I say, man-- how you say? Shave your face. When you shave your face, you miss up some mustache or like that. You're not going to bang your hand and angry and upset, right? It's OK. You miss something. You go and shave again. It's noticing. You notice. It didn't shave some part.

Ladies, you do some makeups. And you look in the mirror. You miss a few points. You're not going to be emotionally act. Some do, but normally, don't. So when you don't do, it's noticing. When you do, it's judgment. Right? So how do judgment? Noticing? It's very, very near each other. They're both are kind of knowing things, but judgment react too much comparing. Oh, it's not good. Oh, good. Yesterday was better. Oh, today is not good. You are better than other person. That is judgment. You're comparing. You're judging, and your extra emotional comes up.

When you notice, and mine stops there. Does not go further. Noticing can be very functionable. Judgment can do very emotionable. So judgment, sometimes, we feel like is very important because we only doing the work through judgment. So when I say, reduce judgment, you feel a little bit of, I'm asking you to put your hand on the back. Not using your hand. Not functionable.

You sort of thinking, oh, how to work and without judgment? That is the question comes up a lot because we don't have no experience. Just noticing. Live life one day with noticing without judgment. We cannot imagine because we've done it-- we cannot. We never do this way. That is second part.

First part, dignity is what? Right? Second, you ask the question, who created? No one created. Why? When it's created, you don't have no dignity. You already own it by somebody. Someone. So you don't have no dignity. You are done. You finished. It's created means you can be uncreated. You can lose it. It's inherently present.

Now the question is, I meditate today. My dignity grows like a tree. The answer is no. That means I don't meditate. My dignity is decrease. Answer is no. Now the question is, why did you meditate then? Because the inherently nature-- you did not recognize. You do not make comfortable to understand. You not put into effort, the dignity to present. That's why you need to meditate.

Meditate makes your mind calmer, so your dignity more present. Then your pride-- your pride. You see the dignity and pride-- it's very close to each other. So you need to reduce the pride and dignity to maintain. Reduce the judgment. Increase the noticing. OK?

So nowadays, in the America, I'm teaching medicine, and compassion, and all this kind of things in a program in Jackson Hole, Wyoming, and all that. And I hearing these people who are doing humanitarian work. And I do a lot of humanitarian work too.

I don't call humanitarian work, but most of my job is like humanitarian work. Listening people's family issues, like therapy things, physical issue, and demon things, and spirits, and dreams, and family issues, and business corruption, and somebody's cheating them. Basically, we only hearing negative. Who comes when the positive? Nobody comes to me in the positive.

[LAUGHTER]

Sometimes, there are positive like, I got married, Rinpoche, like that, or I got a son, or I got a daughter, please bless, and I'm moving new house. That kind of things. I have very few but majority comes to me who are always challenge in life. Yeah, I do too with my teacher. So it's kind of humanitarian work. So it's kind of challenging towards your state of mind, your state of your physical body.

So nowadays, you call in the West, they call compassion fatigue. That word doesn't really-- digestible for my mind because when it's a compassion, you don't have no fatigue. Why compassion fatigue? Because your compassion that you have is related with your pride and your judgment. Basically, your compassion is completely savior mentality of compassion or hero mentality of compassion. That's why you feel fatigue about it. All right?

So when you have genuine compassion, just compassion, no savior mentality, no hero mentality, that means you don't have no personal issue with that. So no ego means no fatigue. That's why I'm saying dignity is so important because a dignity is this. I tell you.

When I was-- how you say? When I got married, I was 25 years old and I arranged marriage by my father. So of course, professor told me about my father, my grandfather-- made these honors speaking for me. One way, it's a kind of happy, fortunate to be in this family. But honestly speaking, personal in one way to say-- not complaining. But just a rebirth in a family who have done meditation?

It's not good because now, I need to meditate whether I'm happy or not. You understand? Because my father three-year retreat. Three-year meditation. I need to fulfill three-year. You know, so it's more like a pressure of responsibility than-- like many of you, you come to college. You can choose things. Oh, I'm going to do this. I feel, I feel-- no. I feel like this. It's free will there.

I am born. Pmf. Meditation. You do this, OK? And your father did this, your grandfather. Your grandfather did nine years in meditation collectively and 20 years of collective-- uh, my God. And he never watched movies and always meditating, looking in the sky.

[LAUGHTER]

You understand? It's like-- but it's such a simple people. That's why I'm really impressed in the meditation because when I look at my grandpa, he's so simple guy, so simple guy and so generous person. I have so many stories, but it's not important to tell now. But I have a role model. When I learn dignity, I have a role model.

He's such a simple guy, wearing very dirty clothes. Now, that means not so fancy clothes. Staying and meditating. And he never act with the people. When the people look at him, he always counting something. But when nobody's there, he's-- it's like meditating, like a lion. His eyes open.

Our tradition meditation is open eye like this. We don't do this. We open eye, open mouth. He says five senses open. You know lion? Lion-- huh. Like this, huh? Lion doesn't go like this. So we say our meditation is like a lion.

Deer meditation. How? Always, always afraid. People who meditate these days-- like a deer. What going to happen? What meditation going to do? What? What, what? Then some of our meditation-- how? Hunter. Hunter. What hunter do? You watch on YouTube. I watch YouTube. Very simple. They stay in the tree. Hold a spear or bow. Wait. Put some foot down there. They wait. They wait for the whatever the animal comes down to throw.

Nowadays, meditators like that, always waiting for some experiences. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, right, right. Please. Oh. See, our traditional-- we never have that. Our tradition-- we just sit. We experience all that, but we never grasp because we know inherently is pure. Whatever experience come is let come. We don't interfere.

So dignity is so important for spiritual. Dignity is so important for your own happiness. Dignity is so important for your compassion. Dignity is so important to being something. Like when I was married, I'm really hungry for somebody hug me. You understand? Hug me. Hugging? Just unconditionally hug.

I'm pretty sure. I'm telling you. You look at your heart. You need that. I'm not kidding. You said like, I don't need this. Manly man. I don't need hug. I know. I'm a man too. We need it. Men need it. That's why I look at my boy, and I look at my girl. Girl is a very expressible so it's very easy for her because she goes, da-da. She hugs, and I hug, and it's easy. But my boy doesn't hug me. So I say, come here. And he's what? Hug me. He's no.

But when I hug, he really kneels down. Then I told my wife, sometimes, men don't say we don't want, but actually, many of men-- no, I cannot say all the men, but many of the men need hug, need some kind of cherishing because why? Because time to time, we forgot about our inherently dignity. That's what we feel hole in our heart because we don't need actually love.

Inherently, we are full of love. Inherently, we actually full of completely, satisfy inside, but we didn't understood to reach this level or you don't recognize this. That's why we're hungry for something externally. That's why I feel a lot of issues-- society, individual.

So many things happens because of you judge yourself, you other people judging you, and you effect it, and you judge yourself again, and again, and again. And through different conditions, we effected so much in our life, in a relationship. So I give you one example.

I have one person I really trust. 100%. And that person is like, I realize that completely really difficult to trust. You understand? Like pick-- how you say? Unreliable? Non-reliable person? And I'm so shocked. That kind of nice person can are unreliable. So normally, what happens? Imagine. When you something trust 100% and become unreliable? What happens? Now you become a harder to trust other people. Yes or no?

Naturally, happens because this is our defensive tool to protect ourselves not to trust, right? For me, did not affect that much. You know why? Because every morning, I meditate. I say-- first, I do meditation. Then I say, nature of my mind is pure. Nature is all being is pure. Nature. So first, I had a little difficult compassion towards the person, but after, I have so much compassion. I have no nothing. No emotional tie. Negatively tie with me.

So dignity is where your land, where you stay, where you begin with your practice. Compassion is expression. Compassion is like when you are full of-- how you say-- complete inside. Happiness or joy, whatever you want to call. Compassion inside. Then compassion is just an expression. And you don't need to protect anything. It's always giving. Number 1.

Number 2. When you meditate, you don't need to meditate hunt like a hunter. Hunting experiences. You don't need to meditate like a deer. Always something going to happen or what. You can meditate like a lion. Whatever happen happen. Doesn't matter. I see it. See it. No see it. It's no see it. I can meditate for one hour. No matter because inherently, nature is pure.

You can see that just mantra of that's so powerful. Make yourself a doubt that nature is pure. Just make a doubt yourself. And through the doubt, you open your heart.

Now you're going to say, Rinpoche, really, this important? This dignity is important? I think it's very important. You know why? Right now many of you, many of us, we go through this difficulty. Not knowing dignity. Not improving compassion. Not improving your sixth sense. Decisive sixth sense.

Sometimes, you want to change your self, improve your character, improve your behavior, and improve your habits. Sometimes, you feel that you cannot do it because you don't have no dignity with yourself. You don't see beyond your action. You need to look beyond your action. Your nature is pure. You start from there. Then you can change your habit. You can change it.

And I tell you my habit was before, when I was 18 to 19 and 20, when I angry, I punched the wall. Because I'm a Buddhist, I trained under a Buddhist, I don't punch people, but I punch a wall. No, no, I'm not kidding. Really. Then after I got married, I'm so much jealous with my wife-- whoever she look interesting to other people. I'm really-- this is all my life experience.

I'm telling you. Just I born in a meditation. Every day-- many hours meditation. Doesn't matter how much hour you do it. You need to improve your habit. You need to change your character. Your character is what you think you are but can change.

Habit is what you in conditioning make you, OK? Behavior means what-- you smile me. I smile back. It's behavior. OK? So behave is like reaction. You react. Behave, OK? Condition changes. You behave, OK? This is 1.

Number 2. Go deeper. Behavior. What I said before? Character, behavior, and habit. So behavior is outside. Habit is little bit inner. Little bit harder to change. Now the character-- little bit you feel like it's me. And I met many people. Rinpoche, my character is-- I say, character is nothing. It's OK. You can change.

I was angry. I changed. I was jealous person. I changed. I was low self-esteem kind of person, who doesn't talk to public. And now, I do a public teaching. I changed. Before I judge myself all the time through my action. I'm changed. Before, I don't think I'm nature is pure. I'm change. So character can change. Why? Nature is always perfect. That's why character can change. So you really need to start over there.

I really see the society is so important to you to train because you're going to have family. Next generation of American people. Imagine. You can give to your kid what? Just saving money to send expensive colleges? That is what you can do? It's not good enough.

Colleges doesn't teach you dignity. College doesn't teach you how to practice compassion. This is our responsibility to teach our kids dignity and compassion and behavior and transforming. This is our responsibility. Not just feed them food and send to school. So next generation America is in your hand.

Third generation. Imagine. You become grandpa and grandma. What you can give to your third generations? It's so important to give them dignity. Confident and practice compassion and correct way of compassion. Compassion. Right now, the word is very deceiving because compassion and sympathy, empathy-- it looks very similar, but it's actually not no same. It's completely different.

Compassion means seeing your own experiences-- what is the cause of suffering? When you do not see your own experiences, what is the cause of suffering? You cannot actually have compassion to other. Oh, poor. Oh, I want to give. No, I want-- that is compassion? That is not compassion. That is expression.

Compassion means your ego is the core reason that you are going through trouble. You're judging something. That is making you more emotional. So I give example to understand our own negative things. and sometimes, you feel like a little bit boring sometimes.

But honestly speaking, when you're not correctly knowing dignity, awakening dignity, path of practices like compassion, meditation, mantra-- we have many different methods. When you know really correctly, it's actually very, very vibrant. It's very, very dynamic practice.

Look at our life. How dynamic that is? You talk to people. You go to study. You go to sleep. You watch YouTube and watch movies. You go to a party. You chit-chat, and a ding ding. How many dynamic you choose? Right? And you can use this dynamic life into your practice.

You see, from time to time, you check yourself. How? You can see. You see yourself a little bit hypocrite. You see a little bit of pride, a little bit of judgment, little bit dignity, little bit compassion. You can see all small, small, small, here, there part. So how to improve the dignity? How to improve noticing? How to reduce judgment? These are very, very important.

Nowadays, scientists say is every day you do 13 minutes meditation for 6 weeks, your mind, your brain can function very well. I don't know. Some university did research. I forgot, but you can look in YouTube. I just saw it this morning. It's not like I'm researching anything. I just watching different, different YouTube. Just pointing, pointing, and somebody come up and talking about brain health.

They says exercise, eat good food, sleep well, and what? Drink water and meditate. Like that. So it's a scientifically saying these things. But right now, I'm not talking about your brain health. I'm not talking about having compassion. I'm not talking about having your good life. I'm talking about base of all of that-- is your own nature.

You can have good brain. But when you have no-- you don't connect to your dignity, what good brain can do for you? You can have a compassion, but you don't have no dignity. Compassion is like a small birdy, birdy. You know bird? Small bird flying in the sky. What happens when big wind comes? They blow up, OK? I'm not kidding. This is how I picture.

Dignity is the most important to based on. Dignity means your nature. I am repairing your nature. Dignity brings confident. Dignity increases compassion. Dignity actually brings happiness, joy deep down. Whether somebody hug you or don't hug you, doesn't matter.

I tell you. When you have pride-- I saw one person. The one man tell me. Men must walk like this. Shoulder up. Push back, and you shake a little bit. And this is everybody can look at you as a man. Woman, you must shake the bottom. This is one man saying in a YouTube, OK. I watched.

[LAUGHTER]

Because they say, how to be men to present? Really, I'm not kidding. So I study, and I like this kind of things. I always concernly-- what people say. I want to know. So one day I try to check. Like this and do this. Walk. I realized that whether you work this or whether you do like this, but when you work with the pride-- constantly self judging and pride-- you just are really huge glass box.

You know glass box? Hurt me now. Glass broke. Somebody-- ting. Whrrk, So easy to break down. I'm not kidding. Pride. You say, with pride, how do you give advice? Please, don't drink alcohol. And the person drinks. You feel very hurt. Not because he drink alcohol-- because the person did not listen your stupid advice. How stupid to sound like that?

This is how pride works. You want to give something gift? You send a little bit of yourself there. You give advice. You give yourself there. Anything you do-- you give yourself there. Attached with there. That is called pride. Dignity-- you give. You give with compassion. You just want to see the person improve. You don't put yourself there. That is a dignity do. Pride and dignity is so big. Different

Dignity does not take anything like a glass box. Does not shake. Somebody says, I hit you. OK, thank you. What I can say? Right? I'm not kidding. Dignity is amazing, but you need to train. Beginning is like-- I don't. You try mashed potato. Mashed potato? I had a really good mashed potato in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.

One of my old friend came from Bushmen? Bowman. Bowman. Bowman. They have town called Bowman Town. Boozeman. Bozeman. Something town. And he drive. Bozeman. And then he'd come down, drive about 5 hours, and he cooked me. He's old friend of mine. He cooked me very nice and food and mashed potatoes.

Then I say, how? What do you put in the mashed potatoes? So delicious. He say, potato, cream, and butter. Mixed together. Exactly. Now you know mashed potato? OK. Now, you think you have dignity. You don't. Why? Our dignity is like a mashed potato. Mixed with the ego. Everything. So it need to learn to-- how you say-- separate.

So through your experiences, you need two ways. First, you must meditate. Without meditation, you cannot improve. Guarantee. I have many people say, oh, Rinpoche, always, I'm a good heart person. I do charity work. I always nice or something. Some people I met say, Rinpoche, I do walking meditation. Action meditation.

I say, whatever you say, you need to put your butt down. Shut up. Really. This meditation means. Meditate means butt down. Means don't move. Not talk. Shut up. And your mind first focus. Mindful in focus. Very gentle focus, then slowly let go focus. Then you can repeat.

Nature is pure. Nature is pure. It looks very stupid in the beginning, but it's OK. Nature is pure. Nature is pure. Nobody created it, and inherently, nature is pure. Full-- that is sounds very stupid, honestly sometimes but really, really important. You start doing that. Then slow by slowly, you can see, oh, a little upset today but not much. Then you notice, OK, now I'm little improving. Oh, upset-- a little bit better. Then your judgment is slowly, slowly getting less, less, less. Life experiences.

Without meditation, your wisdom, your wisdom of improvement-- not going to grow. You can read the book. You can read my book. You can read other books. You can read thousand books. You can have knowledgeable person. But without meditation, without reflection, without internally checking, you cannot be wise. So you want to be wise? You must look internally. I meditate every day, OK?

I read many books. I studied in YouTube, but it's not going to work. End of the day, I need to talk to my wife. OK? She grew up in America. So she's a little bit tough lady. So it's not easy to talk to her. You understand, right? So when I talk to her, and she reflect me back. And I sometimes meditate.

Two days ago. I'm a little exhausted actually with the traveling. So I'm talking with my wife. A little bit grumpy in my talk. OK, what are you saying? Something like that. What are you saying? You please speak faster or something like that. She says, calm down. You just said you're meditating. That is your action? Calm down. I said, yeah, I know, I know. Thank you. Thank you. OK, OK, so I need to calm down.

So before, my ego was so big. I cannot accept anything. Only my teacher say something, OK, I accept. But my wife tell me something, I cannot accept. So I learned to reduce my ego. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. I slowly-- you can see. When ego goes down, your dignity increases. It's natural. It's like that.

I have students. My monks who school me. Waah-waah, Rinpoche. And one time, I met people. They say, Buddha is stupid. I say, yes, I agree with you. Buddha is stupid. Anything else you want to say more? Really, I'm not kidding. I have no defensive mood. Why? Because when you have no ego to hold on, right? I'm talking about idea. Somebody says, your dignity is bullshit. Somebody told me, I said, OK, thank you. Anything else?

See, not here today Harvard Divinity School to prove something to you. No. I'm not coming here to prove you, or I'm not telling you to do something. What I'm saying is I'm giving a different theory, OK? Different practice and different theory that you didn't try before.

And what we want to do? We want to improve ourselves. We want to improve our action. We want to improve our way of living. We want to improve emotionally. We want to improve things. So we are saying, please do this way. Just try. What is it wrong with the try?

For example, you try before aerobic exercise. You try yoga. You did heavy lifting, right? You do running. You try many different exercise-- tai chi, chi gung, yoga. Same thing like that. Why you just put an effort on one year dignity training and see what happens? But train exactly what we saying. And then you're going to see the difference.

That's why my point is dignity inherently pure. Uncreated by you. Uncreated by anyone. It's inherently present. Second. Your judgment need to be reduced. Your noticing need to be increased. Thirdly, your pride and your dignity looks very mixed matched together like a mashed potato.

But through your experiences, you're going to see your pride is slowly, slowly dropping, your clinging towards things dropping, your dignity slowly increasing through your experience. This number 3.

Number 4, you can do repeat yourself something. Say, nature is pure. Nature is pure. Nature is pure. All nature is pure. Not like your nature is pure, and other whole being nature impure. It's not like that.

Whole being, whole living being nature is pure. Uncreated. That mantra is very, very powerful. So now, you're going to say, Rinpoche, how you're going to-- what is the best way to motivate us to engage in this dignity path? I'm going to say, you see compassion path issue with fatigue.

You saw meditation practices like a 10 hours meditation practices. Some traditionally do-- or a few hours meditation. But you're going to see the same situation. People. They told me after they'd done the practice for 10 days or 20 days or one month, after they go into society, they become similar challenge by things because you need to-- just meditation is not going to be OK. You need to have a base, then you train.

Base is very important training. I don't know you know Chinese Kung Fu, but the Shaolin temples? When they train, they have this position, sitting position. They call horse stand or something. They sit like this. I don't know I do the correct, but I never done it.

But the theory is sit like this. (SPEAKS WITH EFFORT) Ugh, they sit like this for hours and hours. And I said, why are you trained like that? They says this is the base training. Without firm lower body, you cannot train upper body to kick and whatever. They spend this hours and hours and hours, OK? Exactly like that.

What I see nowadays is, I do compassion. I do meditation. Meaning, you learning kick. They're learning boxing. Hand. Kicking. But do you train dignity? What is that? That means you don't train the horse stand, but you're already learning kicking. This is how I see. That's why it's very important to learn the base first, then you could build up there, OK?

So for my point of view is want to improve compassion? You want to improve your happiness? You want to improve your life? Please train your dignity. Now, the amazing part is it's uncreated. That means what? Nobody can rob your dignity. How amazing that is? You understand. You cannot say, oh, he robbed my dignity.

No one can rob because you did not create it. You did not create it means nobody can rob. And I cannot input dignity on you. What? You already have dignity, inherently dignity. So how to do it? Through your meditation. Through mantra like nature is pure. Nature-- and through different practice. In the book, I have practices. Then you do it slowly. You're going to see some improvement. 100%. You're going to see improvement. No doubt.

Now, one I want to give you. I see this nowadays people-- in myself too. Sometimes, we don't know what to do. Like we find a life partner. We're not sure this is my real life partner or not. Sometimes, we want to have kids. We should have kids or not? Or sometimes, we find a job. We should do this. A lot of this-- how you call a-- indecisive. Then you have no idea. So you need to think what.

Sometimes, they are called sixth sense. You know sixth sense? You know sixth sense? Gut feeling. You know gut feeling? I have this sixth sense. This sixth feeling. I must do this, right? How to increase this sixth sense? How to increase your gut feeling? How to improve your decisiveness is actually dignity training. Through the dignity training, you train compassion. You train meditation. You train different other methods. This all helps you to increase this your confidence.

For example, I asked my doctor. Oh, I have a blood pressure. Please calm-- to bring down. They say, do exercise. Then every day, I exercise, OK? I was a 220 pounds. I was. Now, I am 185 pounds, I think. I lose 30 pounds, I think. All right? So I walk, walk, walk. I eat less. I eat this much. Before, I eat this much. I eat this much. All right? Then I walk, walk, walk, exercise.

Now, my doctor says I should do this power lifting, all that. I'm not yet doing all that yet. So I did small, small lifting but not yet big one. But I'm going to start soon slowly. I do this exercise. It helps my body. Helps my things. So I start thinking, oh, exactly like this.

Dignity training. When you start doing? Your sixth sense improve. How you look at the world improve. How you look at your self improve. Your compassion improve. Your meditation actually improve. You understand? Many people are doing meditation, I feel-- I'm not feel. I know they are doing something not correct. Not meditation.

They forgot about the dignity. That's why they don't know how to trust their experiences. You understand. So when I meditate, I like this. I have this confidence. When I see people meditating, little bit not sure. And then writing, Rinpoche, I had this, this, this. I have this, this, this. Mostly question is not having dignity.

Now, you have dignity? 50% of question also gone. Just think. Nature is pure. Nature is uncreated. Oh, very important-- uncreated. Nature cannot be lose. Cannot be lost. Cannot be taken. Cannot be increased. Nature is pure. Inherently exists. Inherently pure. This kind of mantra is very, very important. So that is called awakening dignity, OK?

So it's good to be short because I cannot teach too long. My time is 1 hour. So now I want to open this. I have a book called Awakening Dignity. Now, we go to set up program, dignity program. Meaning, how you say? This practice program, OK?

So what happened is I have a very good student. She is a professor, and she comes through my meditation center. And every day, every time, I teach. I talk about dignity somehow, dignity, dignity that, dignity this. So few years back, like seven years back, she said, Rinpoche, really, we need to write a book of dignity because you're saying too much. We need to write this. This is going to be benefit people.

Then I said, OK, but I don't know how to write English. Then she said, Rinpoche, I'm going to help you to write. I said, OK, very good. Thank you. Then she worked one year and a half. She took leave from her college. And she completely put into this dignity work. And I went through many, many times with her.

Beginning-- I just left her to do whatever she needed to do. And I come up with the book, Awakening Dignity. It's quite really good book. Whenever I listened to points, really capture all the key points that I'm mentioning. Actually, more than me because she's catching all the major points, and there are many, many methods. Every chapter-- they have methods.

And now, we could start programming. A program-- how to improve this because I see a lot of compassion training, a lot of this, but dignity training-- not there. So we have a lot of important dignity in training. So I'm here proof for you. I don't know many of you me see, but I have my own proof that where I started.

You think I'm started with happy life. No. I always started with a challenging life. Compromising. Challenging. Pleasing. Patient. Understanding. Letting go things. Sometimes, a little bit hard work, because I live in a very big society. You understand? Asian society. I think you know. And on top of that, I have a Dharma society.

And you have this kind of-- it's normal. Everywhere, it's like that. So I need to be patient, understanding, and taking all the negative things, and eat it. And now, my wife has become so wise really because every morning I woke up, I had a tea with her, and we discuss. What? Not family. No business. No nothing. No money. No house. What? About emotional.

What is this? What is dignity? What is compassion? How to improve? What is this? Talk. Talking. Sharing. Because I have two kids. So when I see my son is a little bit uncomfortable with himself-- cannot face the world. And I can relate to these kids with many other kids.

And my daughter is become too strong. And how to handle her to become more little bit less sort of stronger because relationship men and women need to be balanced. You can't be one strong, too strong, like that. So I tell my daughter, just have more compassion. And I tell my boy, a little bit more steady, a little bit more stronger. You become too less. So how to be a little bit more dignity. Like that.

So I always joke with my kids. I say, who is the boss in the family? And they all points my wife. She is the boss. I say, OK, yes, she's the boss. So I realized that when we quarrel-- couple quarrel? I realized that they're not quarreling because they hate each other. They quarreling. They want to know who is alpha. They want to know who is the alpha.

And of course, a misunderstanding, but that is the misunderstanding-- This is a front. The back-- I realized for me, my relationship-- not you. My relationship is alpha. So now, alpha is we change alpha. Sometimes, I'm alpha. Sometimes, she's alpha. So we never fight.

So whenever she wanted planning? Something like this. I say, OK, please you decide. I have no idea with that. OK, she's OK, da-da-da, pah. OK, good. When it comes other to things, she say, oh, Rinpoche, please take over. OK, wha-wha-wha-wha-wha. She's, OK, good. We don't fight because now, we found alpha.

Who is alpha? So alpha is what? For good for the family. Not to your win. Not to her win. It's good for the whole family. That understanding-- you need to have dignity, compassion, understanding, and everything. So it's a very-- dignity I think, it's very, very important, honestly speaking. That's why for you-- is beneficial.

For your kids, it's so important. Next generation of American is so important. So that's why, please, please practice your dignity. Think of your nature is pure, and try to learn meditation. And please meditate a little bit your can to improve yourself, and you can improve other people, and especially, your kids, and next generation Americans, and next generation of Americans to improve themselves and benefit others.

Thank you so much. And I'd like to open up some question answers.

[APPLAUSE]

ELON GOLDSTEIN: Great. This is the book that Rinpoche's referring to. It has lots of fabulous detail, practicalities, specific methods called. It's Awakening Dignity. So you can find it easily Amazon or any bookseller.

What we'd like to do is take questions. So if you have questions, raise your hand, and then Jonathan will come in and hand you the mic so that we can hear you properly. So just feel free to raise your hand, and then I'll call out people for questions.

AUDIENCE: Thank you so much for being here and having us here, Rinpoche. I was struck by something you said about doubt. You said doubt that nature is mind and then through that doubt, open your heart. So I was wondering how you get from doubt and use that doubt to open your heart.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: It's a very good question. Through the doubt, you're going to book the book. Then through the book, you're going to start meditating. Then the doubts start to become experience. Then experience start to become more like defined, more confident.

So when you don't have no doubt at all, I don't care, like that, then you never pursued. So you need to have a question, a little doubt on yourself. Then you could pursue it. That is what I want you to pursue.

So anybody, please come on Harvard Divinity School community.

ELON GOLDSTEIN: Other questions?

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: Yes. Yeah. The person on the hat.

AUDIENCE: Hi, Phakchok. Hi, Phakchok Rinpoche. Thank you also for being here. My question is similar, too, in the doubt concept. But more in thinking about training dignity nature or true nature is what struck me when you were talking about, was listening to that voice, the sixth sense, yes. And I think a lot of that is deciding to do actions like following through with that voice, what it's telling you to do, would just being more listening and-- oh, would it be more like following the directions of that voice that is the training of the dignity or is there more to it than that aspect of the listening to the voice?

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: That, I think I see quite a bit in the Western, the voice. In East, when we trained meditation technician, we don't take too important the voice, because voice is very deceiving. In the West, I realize a lot of this voice, voice, voice. For us, voice experiences, realizing experiences, divine interventions, in East, especially our meditation tradition, especially not just East but meditation tradition that I come from, we very like to not attach to these experiences.

Now, the question comes how I ignore the separation that which voice I should listen. The answer is don't listen all the voice. Listen your intuition, your direction of your wisdom, your understanding.

And wisdom only comes from meditate. Then you observe the situation, study what need to do, and look around. And they're going to have this clear vision. Then you do it. You can call voice.

The clear voice only comes from meditation. No more voice-- you can go nightclub, then you have a feeling and you think is a voice, that is not the right voice. That is your thought telling you things.

So that's what we really worried about this voice things in mind meditation, voice, vision, dreams, experiences. You hardly see traditional meditation like this. We never do that. You ever saw that? We never do this.

We do sometimes, oh, yeah, I had this feeling. But we always, we exhale, exhale. Then you ever saw a lion in Africa, like that. You never saw one lion that-- lion goes, like this. You never saw a lion like that.

Who you see this? Leopard. Like that, leopard, cheetah, this kind of thing. So we always refer, my master, don't be like dog. Be like a lion.

This is my teacher used to say. Means you throw a stone to the dog. Dog would chase the stone, yes? They love to chase stones, and the woods, and things.

Now, you go to Africa in the future. I've never been, but you go Africa. Throw a stone the lion. Lion not going to the run the stone. Lion going to jump on you.

[LAUGHTER]

So my teacher says, don't chase the feeling. Don't chase the voice. Don't chase the vision. Look in who having this vision. It's me. Who I am? Pride me? Then it's wrong. You clinging me? Wrong. Not compassionate me, not compassionate me? Wrong.

We call spiritual materialism. You understand? Gaining the-- gaining power, gaining the-- gaining experiences, Kundalini. I see this in America a lot, la, la, la, la, la, like this. I respect really helpful to people. I'm very happy.

But traditionally, we don't do this. But they feel benefit by people changing the effect. I think they change. Then I'm very happy. Whatever can change your character, please do. But you must change negative to positive, angry person to good person. That is the important, whether you follow Buddhism or not, doesn't matter.

What really can change you, going in the forest can change you, go in the forest. Make you free, change in hugging tree, do that. Changing rock can change you, do that. Changing is very important. Without change, not good.

You OK? So my answer is very long, very lousy. But my point is don't listen all your voice. Meditate then the voice, the intuition, the voice become intuition, sixth sense, intuition. That is very important. Just normal voice, don't listen. This is what I want to say. My answer can little harsh, sorry. I really wanted you to be-- clear answer to you. This is why I'm a little harsh, little bit here and there. Sorry about that. Yeah, two more questions, please.

AUDIENCE: Hi. Again, thank you so much, Rinpoche, for this beautiful talk. I work with communities of-- sometimes marginalized communities where--

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: What is marginalized?

AUDIENCE: So people who are maybe of color or come from immigrant backgrounds.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: OK, now I understood.

AUDIENCE: And I work with a lot of-- yeah. And so sometimes, people like this don't have the privilege and the time to meditate because they're really busy trying to work three jobs to take care of their children, or feed their families, or whatever these things are. And I wonder what is the easiest way or how would you be able to incentivize or encourage them to tap into some form of meditation if they don't have the time to sit and maybe for a while to shut their mind or quiet their mind because of all of the stressors from, again, the capitalism, and the consumerism, and the pressures of our society.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: I think they don't have no time it's not our problem. They're going to find a time when they know is right. What we need to do is we need to give them a tool, a way, or information.

The dignity is inherently. You did not-- I did not create your dignity. And your dignity, your nature is pure. You do not create it, too. It's inherent.

When you know that, whether marginalized or not marginalized, doesn't matter, wherever you are, you never lose it, your ground. Why you lose ground because we completely forgot about that nature, pure. Just imagine how powerful the word is in heavenly nature is pure.

But it's uncreated. It's not created by you, not created by anyone. Cannot lose it but cannot give to you. It's inherent. It's not judged by your action.

It's inherently pure. How powerful that-- just think that concept is so powerful that gives you what, inherently freedom actually. It's a human right to understand inherently pure, isn't it?

You all talk about human rights or what, education, human rights of election, isn't it a human right to need to understand the inherent is pure? I think it's a human right, I think. It's good right.

So now, the answer is do not go into this, do you have time, you don't have-- no, give them information. This is much easier to do, few times, few hours or not few hours, 10 minutes, 15 minutes you need to do. Give the method. When they experience that, they're going to find the time. They're going to do it.

No matter what, they're going to do it. Because if you're not able to give this information, reach the information to them, so then it's a problem. Time is their problem, not our problem.

We cannot tell them do this, do that. That is not right way. Let them choose. But to be doing this, has many benefit, so please you try.

AUDIENCE: Thank you.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: Thank you. Yes, yes. It's the gentleman--

AUDIENCE: Thank you. My question for you is about your time with your family, your meditation practice, your other professional or nonprofit endeavors, and other self care that you do for yourself or self enhancement.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: Yes.

AUDIENCE: Coming, I have two children very young. And just want to hear from you how you balance your time as a family man, a professional man and your own well-being.

PHAKCHOK RINPOCHE: It's understanding. And when I got married with my wife, I told her, I said really, from my young child-- not child, but eight years, seven, eight, nine years from my age, I always make aspiration. Aspiration is really beautiful. You cannot achieve something this life or you cannot achieve right now, make aspiration.

Make aspiration you're religious person and go front of the religious item. You're non-religious person, just put your palm together. You don't want to compound that, you just stand up like this like when you national anthem and you go like this. National anthem, [SINGS] Like that. So you do aspiration. You are non-religious, non-believer, non-spiritual like that, then just put your hand in your heart like this. I make aspiration, whatever.

So I told my wife that my aspiration was to practice Dharma and to benefit some people how much I can. That is my whole purpose. So now, I got married with you. And our marriage is going to interfere. My aspiration is going to be very difficult. So please understand my aspiration. She says OK. Then after that now, she is the biggest contribution in my organization. Without her-- she put her hand on any projects that goes 100% and 200% perfections, because she is perfection.

So now, my kids situations, I explained them. See, my father, father, father, father, father, father, 800 years did meditation. So I have no choice, my son. I have no choice. I need to do that. After all, I'm sorry to tell you, you don't have no choice, too.

[LAUGHTER]

So please understand. So my son and daughter say, first-- kids, they're emotional. Dada, when I'm-- you're young, I'm young, you never there. You always traveling. So I don't feel your love. I had that kind of experiences. So I talk to them. I share with them. I think it's OK. So my now son going to my footstep. He's doing normal schooling.

Now he's finishing certain part. So I'm taking out from the school. And now, I'm going to train meditation training. And he say-- and my wife asked him, you really want to do this? He say, mama, I already decide. I'm going to do that. So he's 14 years old. So he already decided.

So I think these days, kids, you need to share love and spend time. But you need to tell what is going through. It's responsible your parents. And for you need to work every day, right, to earn. You don't see kids every day, meaning every hour. How much you put effort? Share a little bit, not need to share all the difficulty.

But share some effort like, I do this, I do this for you. They need to understand that. So my kids understand this. So they feel OK.

And whenever I travel out and I see people begging money like that, I do-- I give money to my kids, OK, offer. And they offer two hands. When I see with one hand, I say, no, next time, two hands, always two hands.

Then slowly I said, you think you are a superior because you're giving to them. Don't think that. Because they are begging, you able to give. Nobody begs, where you going to practice generosity? So they are actually giving us a chance to practice generosity. It means they are superior than us.

So that kind of example and through like this, now more, they are more, how you say, compassionate, kind of, not 100% saving the sentient being compassion. But they have this feeling of compassion, very simple compassion. So my kids are very good, compassionate. They are. The school people told my wife.

So one day, my daughter is crying. We're staying in the room. And she cry like somebody die or something. Then I said, what happened? So my wife talked to her. And she said, oh, we have roof to stay protected from this heavy rain. But there are so many people who don't have roof. Where they going to go? So she's crying for the people who don't have roof. You understand?

So that kind of feeling I can able to produce them. So when they grow up, this is going to be value for them. That would be their moral ethic. For us, moral ethic is our intention, our compassion, our direction, our intuition is our moral ethic. It comes from our own inner dignity.

This is how I do it, not perfect. It's not going to be perfect, because everybody is different. So I do this way. Anyone? Nothing. Thank you so much. Thank you, Professor.

[APPLAUSE]

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SPEAKER 1: Copyright 2023, Presidents and Fellows of Harvard College.